Wednesday, September 11, 2013

If only it were so...

A very wise woman once told me that your ghosts never go away.  You just get better at dealing with them.   For our family, and thousands of others, the horrific events of September 11, 2001 are ghosts that will haunt us forever.   Twelve years on, we have gotten better at dealing with them.   You have to.  Insanity lies in the other direction.

Recently, a church speaker gave a talk on trauma and the strengths we can draw from it.    I would, and have, gotten out of my sickbed to hear this guy talk.   He is just awesome.   As I listened, rapt, to what he had to say (not all of which I agreed with), he did it.    He went "there".    Now I can deal with 9/11 when I know it is coming, but when it takes me by surprise, it is like getting the breath knocked out of me.    He said, "Now take September..." (At this point it is like time stops, while I think to myself, "Please, please don't go there.  Don't open that box").... 11th (Damn, he went there!)    My head is filled with memories of fear, grief, tears, & terror.   

Hubby squeezes my hand and I know that we are in this together.   Slowly at first, I am able to breath.   I do not stand up and scream.   I do not run from the room in tears.   I take each breath (and each stitch, I was knitting, of course) one at a time.   Another speed bump is gotten past.

Please show some respect on this day.   Please remember that for some of us "Never Forget" is more than a political slogan and/or a pithy bumper sticker.   Please understand that  "Just get over it!" may not be a viable option.  Please don't forget.

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