Friday, February 1, 2013

Knitting Soothes ...

My current "Sunday" knitting project is this black triangle shawl.   The fingering weight yarn and the fact that I only work on it one day a week makes it pretty slow going but I am pleased with it all the same.

Last Sunday I arrived at church looking forward to hearing this week's speaker give a talk on "Sustainable Change".    What I was not prepared for, however, was how much our guest speaker resembles the ex-husband.    Now, I have long since learned to manage the trauma of my first marriage (thank heavens for a strong support system and lots of therapy).    The nightmares and panic attacks are, mostly, a thing of the past.   But, for whatever reason, this guy threw me for a loop.   My head and heart started to pound and I could not breath well enough to sing.    I was going to step outside but my legs were shaky.   Then I hit on an idea I read about in Priscilla Warner's "Learning to Breath".    I closed my eyes and focused on the parts to of me that were literally grounded.    I could feel my bottom on my seat and my feet on the ground.  The shaking stopped and the pounding receded    Then, I added my own twist and started knitting with my eyes closed which requires feeling each stitch (usually a cool party trick but now a practical skill).  The pounding stopped completely and I could take slow deep breaths.    I tried opening my eyes but as soon as I looked at that poor man at the podium, the whole thing started again.   In the end, I spent the entire talk with my eyes shut and my hands busy.   It really worked for me.

No comments:

Post a Comment